Coming to Terms

Today wasn't one of my better days.

I think I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I will most likely lose my job.

It really hurts. I know it isn't personal, but you can't help but feel that way.

I have given everything I had for the past 8 years.

Blood.

Sweat.

And tears.

And I have no control over the outcome. It seems that sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you work, you aren't guarenteed anything...that's life.

I always said that I was going to go down with the ship unless the boat was taken from me...and well that is what is happening. Never in a million years did I think it would happen this way.

My fear is that I won't find another job. And if I am lucky to find one, it won't be anywhere in the pay range that I need to make in order to keep my house and support my family. When did it get so expensive to make a life? I guess in this state it always has been, I've just been lucky these past few years. And now my luck finally ran out. It really is a helpless feeling. I find myself wanting to cry all the time.

I don't even have a resume together. Truth be told, I don't even know where to begin. Since I have been in my current position for 8 years and had previously worked for the former GM for 6 years at another location, I didn't need one. But that is now on the top of my TO DO LIST.

I am holding on, hoping and praying that the transaction doesn't go through. But I think I am just fooling myself. Need to prepare myself for the inevitable.

And if that wasn't enough to worry about, I still have that other thing lingering - finding out about my health. If I only had the ability to have one of these things go my way - you know I am pulling for my health...would be nice if I can get both.

God please give me the strength to get through these next couple of weeks and handle what ever outcome there is.